Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Selling out with this blog

ONE OF THE WRITERS I look up to, Butch Dalisay, once questioned the relevance of blogging—criticizing it from all angles. So he found himself eating his own words when he actually started his own blog (initially an extension of his weekly column “Penman” in the Arts & Culture section of the Philippine Star). He used his first blog entry to justify/rationalize his giving-in.

Well I’ve given in.

And as this is my first ever blog entry, I feel that I too must rationalize my “selling-out.”

I too have openly questioned the relevance of owning a blog. I’ve read the blogs of others, and it’s not that I have anything against their blogs; it’s more of the fact that it seemed that blogging just wasn’t for me.

What I found was that most of my friends read blogs for the thrill of knowing what’s going on with other people’s lives. What is talked about when a conversation about blogs comes up is seemingly always just gossip about love lives and other student melodrama that glorified states of depression, heartbreak, anguish, betrayal, angst, and anger. Under that perception, I concluded that the world of blogging had no place for me. When I’m feeling all that melodramatic crap, I rarely even talk about it, let alone write about it. I just normally get into my mode of “suicidal seclusion” (it’s actually lamer than it sounds; Buckley on the Ipod, fake-slashing-of-the-wrists-with-fingertips—Gin and Japs know what I mean).

Blogging and I weren’t meant to be.

But intrigued by Butch Dalisay’s giving in, and enlightened about blogs existing that are more to my liking (discussing current events, lit, movies, music, art, and clever musings about anything under the sun that are all witty and very well written), I began opening myself to the idea of owning my own blog.

Then during one summer afternoon, triggered by boredom and another fucking Friendster request from a skanky-looking blonde named Stephanie who I don’t know, I dug through my drawer and finally found a small post-it with my Friendster account password. I logged in (for probably only the third or fourth time since Lee created the account for me for my nineteenth birthday), deleted my account, and opened this blog account.

So there it is.

Sell-out na ako.

May blog na si Martin Villanueva.

A couple of explanations…

“MV manunulat” is how I sign my emails (an arrogantly narcissistic proclamation of who I am and what I do other than being an Atenista). “Nagsusulat lamang” is the filename of my journal on my PC which, in a sense, was my “old blog” that was never intended to go outside the My Documents folder.


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