Pathetic
I just realized how pathetic the past couple of days have gone.
Tuesday’s victim was a close friend. So really she can’t complain. It’s part of the job description. To sit through the whining. To match bottle for bottle. I think she finished a pack that afternoon. Can’t blame her. This asshole was…well…acting like an sad asshole. Sad in the derogatory sense. Then to be accused of floating by an ate who wasn’t even around to see it all. And I think it was a Fulbright scholar who told on me. Wasak! And I thought it would be easier to get away in the big bad city.
Yesterday’s victim was a subordinate of mind. I’m her boss for crying out loud! Okay, that’s unfair. She’s become a friend. Still, I let this person hear all the crap I needed to voice out. And this is after a pretty serious editorial board meeting where a lot was done. But after, bottles and pitchers were involved. How professional of me. So out of whack I fell asleep on a public bus. Basag!
Today, I take out a visiting tita and cousin for some innocent malling. But of course I couldn’t let a Shakey’s merienda go without a mug. Fuck it! No glorification of anything here. Just utter disgust in the person writing is.
The problem? I think I know. It’s trying to do something I don’t want to do. Trying to forget something that can’t be forgotten. And perhaps more importantly, trying to let go of something that I don’t want to let go of.
I’ve been holding on. It’s out there now. No use denying it.
And to think the intent of these passages was to be as vague as possible. Success to an extent. Still, many will get it, perhaps scoff after reading. Sorry to them. NO. Fuck it! Bahala kayo. Bahala na talaga.
............
P.S.
Ey you (it's been awhile since I said that).
Glad you're safely home.
Tuesday’s victim was a close friend. So really she can’t complain. It’s part of the job description. To sit through the whining. To match bottle for bottle. I think she finished a pack that afternoon. Can’t blame her. This asshole was…well…acting like an sad asshole. Sad in the derogatory sense. Then to be accused of floating by an ate who wasn’t even around to see it all. And I think it was a Fulbright scholar who told on me. Wasak! And I thought it would be easier to get away in the big bad city.
Yesterday’s victim was a subordinate of mind. I’m her boss for crying out loud! Okay, that’s unfair. She’s become a friend. Still, I let this person hear all the crap I needed to voice out. And this is after a pretty serious editorial board meeting where a lot was done. But after, bottles and pitchers were involved. How professional of me. So out of whack I fell asleep on a public bus. Basag!
Today, I take out a visiting tita and cousin for some innocent malling. But of course I couldn’t let a Shakey’s merienda go without a mug. Fuck it! No glorification of anything here. Just utter disgust in the person writing is.
The problem? I think I know. It’s trying to do something I don’t want to do. Trying to forget something that can’t be forgotten. And perhaps more importantly, trying to let go of something that I don’t want to let go of.
I’ve been holding on. It’s out there now. No use denying it.
And to think the intent of these passages was to be as vague as possible. Success to an extent. Still, many will get it, perhaps scoff after reading. Sorry to them. NO. Fuck it! Bahala kayo. Bahala na talaga.
............
P.S.
Ey you (it's been awhile since I said that).
Glad you're safely home.
posted by M.V. at 8:40 PM
3 Comments:
thanks.
m.v.
Tangina mo. Binangungot tuloy ako. I was heartbroken in my nightmare (precisely why it was a nightmare--that wasn't supposed to be possible). That's as close to it as I'll ever get, I guess.
"Wednesday's victim" pala dapat, sorry I'm dopey from playing too much videogames.
Don't shit over telling, I'm just innately good at manipulating information out of people.
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