Friday, September 8

BLOCK E (PAST, PRESENT, AND INCOMPLETE) AT TUGON NIGHT: Lee-Anne Tobias, Paula Peralta, Ginny Sonico, Martin Villanueva, JC El Tayech.

LAST NIGHT began with me fighting off hard rain and ankle high floods to get to Bubble Gang Toppings, Katipunan for Tugon’s “Rock a Bye Baby Concert and Comedy Shindig.” (Tugon is a student organization of the Ateneo that aims to provide care for abandoned and sexually-abused children.)

GIN, ME, JC: "My Girl" (kamukha ni Pia Guanio?), The Writer, The Actor.

The P120 entrance got me an hour with Gin, JC, Lee-Anne, and Paula, as well as the night’s first bottle. This event was supposed to be a block reunion. It ended up just being the five of us. Typical.

LEE AND JC: Ang ganda talaga ng long-lost sister ko. Surprising na wala pa siyang guy--not that protective Kuya Martin is complaining.

Missed 6 Cycle Mind and Protein Shake; caught Callalilly’s set (o narinig ko pala; sa labas kami nakaupo). Didn’t get to catch Hymn of Siren’s set because of miscommunication between Cindy and I (akala ko 8:45 ang set nila; past 11:30 pala); had to go to my mini-Palanca celebration.

Next door at Flaming Wings, JC, Paula, and I were joined by Andre (anak ng teatro at kaklase ko sa poetry, theology, at history), Ada (kapwang manunulat, alagad ng entablado, at kaklase ko sa poetry at nonfiction) and her boyfriend Exodus, Lionel (kapwang manunulat, patnugot ng features ng Guidon, at kaklase ko sa nonfiction), Cindy, and Marcee (before their set). Gin left to go to a party with her basketball teammates.

Ended the night at Cantina with Andre, Cindy and Marcee (after their set), and Japs, while some Blue Rep friends of Andre joined us. (Blue Rep ay isang theater org sa Ateneo.) Bottles were ordered, opened, and downed until around 2AM.

Andre, Cindy, and Japs all noticed how I kind of looked down. I wasn’t really conscious of how I was feeling. It was like my emotions were on mute.

Perhaps I was just tired? Perhaps it was disappointment over those who didn’t show up? (Isang babae in particular siguro? "It's complicated" diba Ada?) Perhaps it was embarrassment over dragging along Andre and Ada—two I only recently got to know—to what was supposed to be a block thing?

(Astig talaga si Ada at si Andre. How pathetic that the two who have probably shown the greatest support during this “award afterglow” have been the two I’ve known for the shortest time?)

Being a leader of sorts in the block before, it has been frustrating to see what has become of the block over the past couple of years. I’ve given up on childish notions of unity. Now I just stick to my own guns.

Selfishness? Or maturation?

The new attitude has worked out for me (published works, awards, etc.). Those who want to go along for the ride are more than welcomed. In the weirdest and most surprising way, last night sort of proved that looking out for myself won’t be a lonely endeavor.

............

Would like to thank my original mentor in creative nonfiction, Queena Lee-Chua, for the article about me on the university web site (check out the article in the Features section).

It truly is an honor, ma'am.

At maraming salamat din sa mga kapwang alagad ni Queena na nag-congratulate sa e-group. Sorry, di ako nag-post ng thank-you sapagkat na wala ang subscription ko sa grupo.

Thanks again.