Friday, April 28, 2006

The future of family, the disregard for the past, the realizations from Palanca.


Dad’s 52nd birthday…2 bottles of red wine + Shabu-Shabu dinner = 1 full dude.

Pope got accepted to Accenture. Pau-Pau’s taking her board exams tomorrow. The future’s looking good for those two.


I texted D last weekend to make sure it was really the birthday of a high school classmate of ours. I wanted to make sure before I greeted. D didn’t reply until today.

Objectively, it’s no big deal…but history makes it more complex.

It’s seems like she’s had the “bad luck” of running out of load or messing up her schedule every time I text or we have an appointment. Then she acts all apologetic over it afterwards, trying to fish for sympathy from me.

“Martin,, sori kkload co lng :)”

I haven’t been nicely reciprocating her “kindness” towards me for a few months now. Does she deserve the cold shoulder? Probably not. But given what I’ve invested emotionally in her in the past…the loyalty I displayed amidst all the stuff in her life, the loyalty that has never wavered despite the resignation she knows I’ve had about us…well, I think I deserve more than 2 years filled with cancelled lunches, forgotten birthdays, and delayed replies.

Why should I even bother now?

Cry me a river.


He’d Rather Be Relevant is done, and will be submitted to the Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature tomorrow (English division, Essay category).

Yeah, I hope it wins, but it doesn’t matter if doesn’t make it past the first round. It’s a good piece—something to be proud of. I could’ve done better, but I’m proud of my effort. It might not be to Palanca’s liking, but I’m not going to change for them. The story was told in the sincerest of ways. Formal conventions would knock it, but it’s the most honest way I could tell that story

I always say that I’m driven not by awards but by good work. Under this view, I shouldn’t be proud of He’d Rather Be Relevant. It wasn’t my best writing. I think it’s because I tried experimenting with a new style of bio-piece writing. I’m far from proficient in this new style, but it ended up being pretty good given my lack of experience. And I didn’t just choose this style just to be different. I felt it was the best way to tell the story. Doing it the classical way would be an injustice to the complexity of the message.

So at least for this piece, I change my mantra:

I’m driven not by awards but by good work, that’s sincere in its voice, and told in the way that does the message justice.

Friday 28 April 06


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