What I know

I know I'm not white, I know I'm not black, I know that being brown connotes different things for different people.

I know I'm smart, I know there are others who are smarter, I know talent goes along way, I know friendliness takes you further.

I know the ocean is blue, & so is the sky though not always. I know to call something blue is often not enough, & I know that when I say I'm blue, people will ask why, & I know the reasons why they ask aren't always out of obligation.

I know to be cool is to be cool, & limiting oneself to coolness isn't cool at all. I know love can be beautiful, can be hurtful, can be felt. And I know I will never completely know love; still, I insist I've never been this close to knowing so.

I know words have the depth of meaning, & that silence can be richer. I know not all things need saying, & I know I know the importance of conversation.

I know compromise is a giving up, & I know giving up can be transcendent. I know sacrifice is overrated & underrated at the same time.

I know forever is great, & I know now is all that matters. I know ends are always coming, & I know ends aren't always the end. 

But I know I know things can begin, & begin again, & begin again. And I hold on to what I know because what I know is all I got. 

And I'll continue to hold on. Again & again & again.

* * *

With Joel's book launch, & Marie's Palanca win, & a brilliant essay I just read written by my student, I know at least the writerly gods are smiling & that just good, sincere work can be enough.